For the most part, busy feels great to me. It feels like I am adding value, that what I’m doing is important.
Busy also feels scary. It feels like I’m close to the edge. Deadlines are looming. I could catch the flu or sprain an ankle and I would worry about opportunities missed and people let down.
It’s also scary because it carries a bigger risk of failure. I might not be able to pull all of this off. Some stuff might fall through the cracks.
Busy is disruptive. I’ve been trying to shape all of these behaviors in my life — how much I exercise, what I eat and drink, how much I write. Busy enables the part of me that wants to break from my routine and indulge in my impulses. Pizza for breakfast? You deserve it, for all the hard work you’ve been doing lately. Go for it.
There’s no space when I’m busy. I have a shorter attention span and less patience. My spiritual, reflective self goes into hibernation.
I like being busy. I hope it subsides soon.